We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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