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well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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