My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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