I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
