I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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