He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
