I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
