my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
