Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
