I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
