ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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