I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
