Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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