That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
