I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
