Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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