So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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