No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize