fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
they're like a gay fantastic four
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
