Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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