Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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