You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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