i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
