u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
