Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
