just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
