Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't deserve a penis
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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