why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize