i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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