Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My balls are so social today.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
