It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
