I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
