Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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