My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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