You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
