THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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