i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
