I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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