dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
