How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
