if i died would you start the facebook group?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
