Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
