yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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