I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
