If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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