She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
