Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Come see our sink grown plant.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
