what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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