The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
