He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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