We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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