I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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