I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
