You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
