i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
