So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
