Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
