we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize